in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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