Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
