So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
