Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
