he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it glows. i had to have it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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