Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
