You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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