Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
