I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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