I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
