just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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