You really coming over, don't trick.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
