I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
