yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
