woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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