Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
