Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
