i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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