I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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