And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
