... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize