he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
