addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
