I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize