Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
