HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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