He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
