On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Let's paint friendship bongs
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
