she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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