is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
