Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
