Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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