New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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