i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
