Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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