It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
