i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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