you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
