AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
