all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
