My sheets look like a crime scene.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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