How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
