Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
