Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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