The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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