is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
