i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
