You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
