He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
