no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
