I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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