Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
