I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
