yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
