I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize