Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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