Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We smell like vodka and hangover
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