You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
