My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
