why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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